Last week, I commented on the Apostle Paul’s command to Christian husbands “to love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25) in my column, “Doug Wilson’s view on Christian marriage is blasphemous.”
Numerous readers have requested that I expand commentary on the meaning of that comprehensive apostolic instruction.
God considered the institution of marriage to be so sacred and special that He used it as an analogy to describe His relationship with His Chosen People (Israel) and Christ’s relationship with His Bride (the Church).
As the Apostle Paul noted, Jesus died for the Church, giving Himself as a sacrifice that He might redeem humankind. What higher sacrifice can one make than to give his life for another? Husbands are to give themselves in service to their wives, including, if necessary, the sacrifice of their lives.
The husband is to “so love his wife even as himself” (Eph. 5:33). The Apostle Paul amplified these instructions using the word agape, which is morally the highest form of love, in that it is “an in spite of kind of love” that endures all and forgives all. Just as Jesus loved each of us while we were still sinners in rebellion against Him (For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life,” Rom. 5:10).
In fact, agape love is identified as a fruit of the Holy Spirit in one’s life (Galatians 5:22). It is not “natural” to fallen man to love with agape love. Only the redeemed who have the Holy Spirit abiding in them as a consequence of the new birth have the capacity for the agape love with which Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives.
The Apostle Paul has also left the church a divinely inspired essay on the meaning of agape love (I Cor. 13:4-13). Agape love is not selfish or self-centered, is not given to anger, and is not arrogant or haughty. Based on that definition, one cannot imagine a Christian husband telling his wife, “submit, because God put me in charge,” or “be quiet, I’ll tell you what to do because God said I was in control.”
The Christian husband driven by agape love is patient and is always seeking his wife’s “good” and agape love is forever and “never faileth” (I Cor. 13:8), which means the agape love husband will never leave.
The Christian husband should seek to study his wife, seeking to understand her and to meet her particular needs, which will vary from person to person. The husband who loves his wife the way Christ loved the church will end up not doing some things he would like to do. (This might involve not playing golf or hunting and fishing quite as much.) Loving his wife with agape love also means he may do some things he doesn’t want to do (spending vacation time with in-laws or attending a home decorating show.)
Click Here to Read More (Originally Published at The Christian Post)
